Pickle Barrel
IT’S 5:00 P.M. Supper needs to be made. My three-year-old needs my attention. And it’s time for my son Josh to do his homework.
“Hey sweetie,” I say in as gentle and playful a tone as humanly possible, “it’s time to get a start on your homework.”
“I know,” he grunts back at me, not moving a muscle.
“Josh, it’s five o’clock and you really need to…”
Before I can finish the sentence, my seven year old is already stomping out of the room, acting like he’s been insulted, in a weak attempt to weasel out of school work.
Welcome to my daily “homework hell.”
Timing is everything, and after yet another (and particularly ugly) five o’clock homework-related altercation, I decided to head to my son’s school for a seminar called How to Establish a Homework Routine for Children.
The school’s gym was filled with other stressed-out moms and dads (well, mostly moms) in search of some kind of sane way of handling this daily battle. Leading the session was educational consultant Bari Nefsky, who came prepared with a PowerPoint presentation, outlining what she called “some sanity solutions.”
She began by asking the parents what we thought homework was for. After a couple of harried hecklers shouted out: “To stress out parents!” and “To do the teacher’s job!” Nefsky explained the real purpose of homework: to consolidate and reinforce the lessons your child learns at school. In the bigger picture, homework helps to establish a work ethic and a love of learning to last a lifetime.
On the family front, homework is an opportunity for parents to know what’s going on in our kids’ heads and their feelings about school, as well as monitoring their progress.
She admitted that homework is a universal problem for most parents and requires self-discipline on the part of the parent and the student.
First, creating a regular time to do homework daily is essential. A discussion of overscheduled kids followed. Bari was blunt. A child with an overly busy, eclectic schedule will have a difficult time with a homework routine. Problem one: when will they have time?
Finding an appropriate place can make a world of difference. Go somewhere quiet, with no televisions, screaming kids or other distractions. Allow for focus. Make sure the area is fully equipped with school supplies to avoid your child using the excuse to find a pen to sneak back into the TV room.
Providing guidance during homework is the parent’s main job. Doing your child’s work isn’t. Here’s why: as much as we want to help our children excel, if we help them too much, the teacher can’t know if the child is having trouble in a subject. If we guide the child and see they’re struggling, let the homework show the level they’re at. A note, call or e-mail to the teacher to follow up would be extremely effective at this point.
According to Bari, the best-case scenario involves having a partnership with your kid’s teacher. Be in touch with the teacher on a regular basis if there’s any concern or issues.
Luckily for me, my son’s teacher was at the talk that night, so I hustled over to her and had a bonding moment. She suggested the next time my son refused to do his homework to calmly remind him that it’s his responsibility. If the work didn’t get done, I was to send a note along with the unfinished work, so she could deal with him from her end.
So far the results have been promising. Last week, when the work just wasn’t being done, I sent a letter to my son’s teacher explaining his refusal to do his work. She responded with a gentle sit down and pep talk with him. Yesterday, I noticed a subtle difference. He still huffed and puffed unhappily while completing his spelling, but he did his work. Even better — it was legible.
Now, if I can just find someone to help me with supper… 
Post columnist Erica Ehm is one of Canada’s most recognized personalities. As the first female MuchMusic host, she was the voice of her generation. Now she’s become a voice of a new generation: yummy mummies. Visit her new website, at www.yummymummysite.com.
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